Burnout & epic ride of year 2023

Maybe May, Maybe June.

I forgot when I had an altercation with my crazy female colleague. She is someone that everyone in the company think she is crazy, has no logic, likes to control everything and even she has no idea about things but still questioning others and demanding others in her crazy way and thought. I could just say, she thinks she is always right and she is super emotional.

However, R-tone said in his standard what I described “fight or altercation” is just a strong communication for him. Cause I will always try to calm down and communicate with someone else with logic. I asked R-tone “If that’s not a fight for your standard what’s get angry and have a fight?” R-tone said “You will have to smash something and yelling ferociously and completely out of control.” I said “Okay, I got it haha, so it’s strong communication.”

Parallel logic

As my other colleague said later when i resign this job, ” you can’t ask a moron to be smart!” We communicated strongly for 1 hour in the small meeting room and whole floors colleagues knew it. It’s about a quotation, a stupid defected supplier website system, a file update deadline and false of excel form. All so stupid that I wouldn’t want to spend more time describing it. After she left the meeting room, two of my colleagues came inside a room and comfort me.

If I lose my creativity that’s the sign of burnout.

I remember back to that time. I already experienced a lot of burnout emotion with my previous job already, she even pushed me beyond the limit. I started to stop my hobbies and has zero creativity on writing blog. I didn’t want to do anything. All I wanted to do every day is just go home and lying on my bed and just try to recover from a whole day’s energy consumption.

I found myself complaining with R-tone every day. Although I could describe it in a backhanded way like everything is just a preposterous joke, but R-tone knew something wrong and he supported me to walk through that period of time, until I found a far better job and rent a cool share flat with him in new Taipei city.

Tons of thanks for R-tone’s support!

 I was super lucky to have a new job within two weeks. I passed the interview and get hired by a stock market listed company with a new job title “manager of sales department.” My salary increased even 30%. I am very grateful to my crazy female colleague. In Chinese culture we say someone who helps you in life is “benefactor”, however there are two ways of helping. One is they help you in a positive way, teaching you gently and encourage you to walk through the difficulty. The other one is, they let you suffer and let you suffer a lot, if you walk through that valley of shadow of death. It’s just like what Nietzsche said” what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That crazy girl is definitely in this category. I was super sick of take care of her emotion and think about how to counter her crazy logic. So, I found a new job and got a new start in new Taipei city. I would like to say thanks for that crazy colleague!

27 June 2023

I used my 3 days annual leave before leaving the company. I started my epic ride in the early morning 5:00 am. I was riding all alone and spent around one and half hours up to Jiaobanshan. After Jianbanshan, I slid down to the valley called Loufu and started my serious long climbing journey. It’s 24.2 km up to and altitude climb is 540m around.

There are few artificial sites during this way up, for example the Ronghua Dam looks amazing and Baling Bridge as well. Ronghua Dam is on the upper stream of Shimen reservoir. Its main function is to stop those sand and gravel which brushed down from the mountain. In order to help Shimen reservoir’s sedimentation.

Ronghua Dam

Baling Bridge

I started climbing up to the booked hotel Lifu Garden Inn. However, with my old road bike and limited gear ratio, I couldn’t make it anymore. I walk with my bike almost all the way up to the hotel.

There were tons of cramps happening on my legs and butt. It was so tough and so exhausted to even walk with my bike. And it looks endless rest for recovery and behind me is 50km’s way home, also I had booked the hotel, based on the most important virtue of a man” trustworthiness “；I have to be there. Therefore, I called it the way of salvation. It’s like Jesus carrying the cross with his staggering steps. It’s 100% pure suffer for me, I walked several hundred meters and had to stop and rest. Until I made it to the hotel, I haven’t thought about there is the end of this road. However,in the end I made it.

Exhaustion and the route alteration  

After a break in hotel, I walked myself up to the highest 7-11 in north Taiwan in Lala mountain. Its altitude is 1200 m and ate some foods there. I tried to ride my road bike to the natural protection zone in Lala mountain, there are several gigantic trees there, but unfortunately I was too exhausted to reach there, so I took a return trip 5km behind the entrance of natural protection zone and visited an amazing aboriginal church with its shape like Noah’s ark.   

A local aboriginal church with its shaps like Noa’s Ark

It’s super steep, that I had to walk with my bike all the way.

Highest 7-11 in north Taiwan. ” Altitude 1200m “

On the silent and peaceful 1200m high mountain, those crazy line messages still keep coming from my work place, it’s hard to get rid of it in modern day, that’s always why people burnout from their job. People used to just work and when they go home they can just throw those irritable thing away and live their life peacefully. At night, I tried to ignore those messages, but I couldn’t. I was keeping image how to defense my horrible colleague and playing the attack and defense in my brain, that’s also the reason that I wanted to leave that job, I am not focusing on solving problem and giving value to clients, now it’s more about my colleague’s emotion and my emotion health.

28 June 2023, early morning 5:15 am

I rode my bike from 1200m high’s altitude back to the city, the first 6km is crazy steep and I was also running out of the brake pads, my wheel rim was burning, I had to walk and let the temperature drop down while descending. After that steep section. I descended almost all the way back to Loufu, I was amazed by myself that I could rode all this way up. I remained my mind sharp for every corner and also enjoyed the wind and those great view of mother nature.

I had a great breakfast in daxi, it’s even more delicious after long ride.

Finally, I made it home after 3.5 hour, compared to 6 hours up to my hotel in Lala mountain it’s so different and the effort I had to pay for uphill and downhill is just another different world. I am glad I made it! this is the challenge that I dreamed to do. Just didn’t have time to do so. That was the most satisfied moment this year so far. That’s what epic ride does; you will be going to remember it very long and even in the rest of your life.

With great suffer comes great achievement and memory, that’s what I believe in life.